I'm a Guilty Reader // Tag Tuesday

Howdy! Today's post will be yet another tag, specifically, the Guilty Reader Tag! I know I JUST posted a tag but I've decided to start doing Tag Tuesdays to help me keep a consistent schedule and they also just seemed really fun. This was created by Chami from over at ReadLikeWildfire, and I would be surprised if you haven't checked out her channel yet, but if that's your case you TOTALLY SHOULD because she's the best. I have a feeling that I'm going to be really REALLY guilty, if we're being honest here...apologies in advance.

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QUESTION ONE: have you ever re-gifted a book you've been given?

...Yes. In my defense, I had forgotten that I'd been gifted the book. But the person I gifted it to...did not. 😣 Oh god.

QUESTION TWO: have you ever lied about having read a book?

Yes, The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien. (Though I've read it by now.)

QUESTION THREE: have you ever borrowed a book and not returned it?

Well, in third grade, my teacher had a mini library in his room and he allowed us to borrow the books there. Obviously, as you can tell by this question, I never returned them. And I...I still have one of them.

QUESTION FOUR: have you ever read a series out of order?

THANKFULLY, no. (Finally, a question where I'm not guilty.) Though I do still wish they would put the number of the book in the series on the book just in case I were to ever read a series out of order.

QUESTION FIVE: have you ever spoiled a book for someone?

Sadly, yes. But in my defense, it was a COMPLETE accident. I mean, it was Harry Potter. At that time Order of the Phoenix had been out for ten years. (You guys know what I'm talking about...😭)

QUESTION SIX: have you ever doggy eared a book?

I only doggy ear books I don't care about (mostly required reading). But never anything else.

QUESTION SEVEN: have you ever told someone you don't own a book when you do?

No. I thought about this for a while, but I actually don't have any guilty pleasure reads.

QUESTION EIGHT: have you ever told someone you haven't read a book when you have?

Again, I haven't read any guilty pleasure books.

QUESTION NINE: have you ever skipped a chapter or a section of a book?

Like the doggy ear question, I only do this with either required reading questions or books I don't like but don't want to DNF.

QUESTION TEN: have you ever bad-mouthed a book you actually like?

Nope. I'm 100% honest about whether or not I like a book or series.

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And that is all for now! Jeez, I had no idea I was so guilty. I always thought I was pretty innocent, but apparently not now that I've done this tag lol. I really hope you enjoyed this post, and if you did definitely make sure to like and share it, and don't forget to hit that follow button! I tag Maram and Ceilie. Bye!!

Book Titles as Pornos // Book Tag

Hey guys! Today's post is going to be another tag, specifically the "Book Titles as Pornos" tag. I wasn't tagged by anyone to do it, but the tag looked like SO much fun. This was originally created by the Restricted Section, but I got this idea from the latest Book Hangover liveshow with Julie, Chelsea and Ali. It was absolute GOLD when those three did the tag, so I was inspired to do it myself. Basically, you put a bunch of book titles on a scrap of paper in a jar and choose one at a time out of it. Then, you use that book title to create a name for a porno, and give a brief summary on what the porno would be about. I'm super eager to do this, so let's get into the tag!

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BOOK ONE: furthermore by tahereh mafi

PORNO NAME: further in

Further In is just ya average porno where the whole plot is sex. There's really no plot, just a shit ton of sex.

BOOK TWO: how to make a wish by ashley herring blake

PORNO NAME: how to make a dick

How to Make a Dick follows a girl who is just about the most desperate thing ever. She's never had a boyfriend, and from what it seems at this point she never will. But then she has a brilliant idea and that is to create a robot boyfriend for herself.

BOOK THREE: under rose-tainted skies by louise gornall

PORNO NAME: under moan-tainted skies

Under Moan-Tainted Skies is a fantasy porn in which a girl has sex so often that Zeus comes down from the sky and grants her to become the god of sex.

BOOK FOUR: the dream thieves by maggie stiefvater

PORNO NAME: the wet dream thieves

The Wet Dream Thieves is about a guy who has wet dreams every single night for several weeks, so often in fact that the ghost who haunts his house gets jealous of all of them and begins to steal them.

BOOK FIVE: crooked kingdom by leigh bardugo

PORNO NAME: crooked dicktom

Crooked Dicktom follows a het couple that has sex so often that the man's dick literally goes crooked.

BOOK SIX: the sword of summer by rick riordan

PORNO NAME: the "sword" of summer

I...think you get it just from the title. XD

BOOK SEVEN: made you up by francesca zappia

PORNO NAME: made you cum

Made You Cum is about two couples who are friends with each other, but the night after the two couples have sex for the first time, they get into an argument about who made the guy come first.

BOOK EIGHT: feel me fall by james morris

PORNO NAME: feel me fall in you

Feel Me Fall in You is yet another average porno in which it's just regular ol' sex.

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Well, that tag was a heck of a lot of fun, that's for sure 😂 Let me know some alternative porno book titles that you think of in the comments, I'd love to see some! I tag Elise to do this. Thanks for reading, and make sure to hit that follow button! Bye!!

Getting in Shape in the Bookish World // T5W

Howdy! Today's post will be another Top 5 Wednesday, a weekly bookish meme created by Samantha / Thoughts on Tomes on Goodreads. And I am so jealous of the creativity of whoever thought of this week's topic because it's "characters' fitness routines I want" ??? like what. I never really read about any characters who work out so this is going to be quite a cheat post LOL. Though, as someone who lays around all day reading or on the Internet I could really use some of these routines.

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5. NEMESIS

I mean, seriously! She was literally BORN to be an extremely strong bodyguard. And when I say extremely I fucking MEAN IT. Nemesis can kill anyone who crosses her path if she wants to. I'm pretty sure she could bench press me plus like five other people. I think you know why I'd like her fitness routine. *slowly looks down at noodle arms*

4. JANE

She's an elegant lady who's also a badass murderer. Now wait just a second, don't get me wrong, I don't want to be a murderer or anything. But Jane is definitely one of the most badass characters I've ever read, and tbh I aspire to be that badass one day. But let's be honest we all know that will never happen.

3. TINA

Though she uses the I'm Not Like Other Girls™ thing (which is one of my least favorite tropes EVER) a couple of times in the book, besides that Tina is a total badass spy that I want to be. (I'm guessing you've started to get that I REALLY LIKE BADASS CHARACTERS) Plus her best friend is Boyboy who I'm obsessed with. Sadly a best friend will not come with the fitness routine though.

2. MARK

I mean, the dude survived on fucking MARS for like a year or something. Need I say more.

1. HARRY

This one seems pretty obvious. Harry gets almost killed over and over and OVER again and he still keeps going. I mean, I'm a Hufflepuff and all, but even I am not that hardworking. Holy crap.

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And that is all for now! I wouldn't say these are in any particular order (except for Harry) because these are some surprisingly difficult decisions to make. I mean, again, I never read any characters who work out so I guess I kind of have an excuse??? I still feel like a giant cheater though lmao. Let me know some fitness routines characters have that you'd like in the comments. I hope you liked this post, and if you did make sure to hit that follow button! Bye!!

Book Beginnings // Jane Steele

Hola! Today's post will be my first Book Beginnings tag-thing (I'm not completely sure if it's considered a "tag" or not). I got this idea from Solly over at The Bookish King, but it was originally created by Rose City Reader. It's a very simple tag, all you do is share the first sentence of a book that you're about to start and your thoughts about it (so obviously this will be a super short post but whatever).

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"Of all my many murders, committed for love and better reasons, the first was the most important."

- Jane Steele by Lyndsay Faye

WHOA. Just that one first line left me QUAKING. Holy crap that sounds so good. I literally just saw this book at my library and got it because I had heard so many good things about it, but now I for SURE want to read it. I think that that first sentence was both mysterious yet telling at the same time. I can tell it's a Jane Eyre retelling (that's the only thing I knew before going into this) that follows a Jane Eyre as a murderer, and I don't know about you but that sounds hella awesome. Also, now I'm totally wondering what the "better reasons" are, and why the hell you would kill someone for love. Just from this one sentence I'm already 100% enthralled and I will for sure be continuing with reading Jane Steele.

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And that is all for now! Let me know in the comments if you enjoyed this post and what your thoughts are on Jane Steele if you've read it. Thanks for reading and make sure to subscribe! Bye!!

4 Questions that I Have for Contemporary Books!

Hello! Way back in the day (aka April lol), I made a post called 4 Questions that I Have for Fantasy Books! and not only did I REALLY love making that post as it was so much fun, but you guys enjoyed it as well! So, I decided to make a sort-of-sequel to it for contemporary. Before I get into the list, I'd just like to say that most of these will be generalizations and stretches and totally hyperbolic, not ALL contemporaries are like this. Obviously.

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WHY ARE ALL YOUR MCs THE SAME?

Let's be honest. A lot of main characters in contemporary novels are very similar: the nerd who's never had a boyfriend before, but then something big happens like they move or go to college or something and true love ensues. Once again, many contemporaries do not in fact have this, but I'm just saying that a TON of them do.

WHY IS IT SO EASY TO FALL IN LOVE?

I demand justice. WHY CAN'T IT BE THIS EASY IN REAL LIFE? WHY CAN'T I FIND MY SOULMATE AT AGE SIXTEEN? HUH? WHY?

WHY IS AMNESIA SO CONVENIENT?

This is so annoying. Whenever the main character, typically a girl in this case, somehow becomes amnesic, she literally remembers nothing. Obviously. Because that's how amnesia works. But no. She remembers nothing except for either her boyfriend, or the boy she was in love with (and then the two fall in love, of course).

WHAT'S WITH THE WHOLE NO-BISEXUALITY THING?

Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of books with bi main characters that most of the time get pretty good rep. The thing is, there are a sad amount of books where the character is so sure they're straight, and then they develop feelings for someone of the same gender and they're like "Well, I guess I'm gay." like yes, I do realize that that can happen sometimes and it turns into you're not into the opposite sex after all, but usually it doesn't mean that.

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And that's all for now! If you enjoyed this post please let me know in the comments which genre I should do next in this series as I really like doing these. Thanks for reading, and don't forget to subscribe! Bye!!

The Friends Book Tag

Heylo everybody! Today's post will be the Friends Book Tag! Because Friends is one of my favorite shows I thought it was pretty much essential that I do this tag. No one tagged me but I'm doing it anyway 'cause that's just how I roll 😎 lol. I scoured the Internet and looked just about everywhere but I sadly could not find the original creator(s) of this tag. If you know who created it, please let me know in the comments. But anyway, let's get on to the tag!

THE ONE WHERE EDDIE WON'T GO: a character you wish would go away

[goodreads]

For this one I'm totally going to have to go with Julian, from Wonder. He is just such a f*cking douchebag to August in this book, and I hate him.

THE ONE WHERE ROSS AND RACHEL WERE ON A BREAK: the most painful breakup

[goodreads]

I mean...do I really have to say anything. 😭 

THE ONE WITH ALL THE KISSING: favorite kiss scene

I actually don't have an answer for this one. I mean I've read kiss scenes and all, but there isn't one that I like more than the other ones.

THE LAST ONE: favorite last book of a series

[goodreads]

MY GODS I JUST CAN'T GET OVER HOW EXTREMELY INCREDIBLE THIS BOOK IS I CAN'T EVEN HOLY CRAP.

THE ONE WITH THE BLACKOUT: a moment in a book I wish never happened

[goodreads]

Sorry, but this book and I are not on speaking terms. I'm still far too salty at it for what it did to me. *sobs*

THE ONE WHERE CHANDLER CAN'T CRY: a book that didn't affect me emotionally like it did other readers

[goodreads]

Once again a HP book (I can't help myself), but I'm guessing y'all know about the certain death in this. And every time I read this book and I get to the part, I don't cry. I'm only a tiny bit emotional. But a lot of people do cry, or at least are really sad, and I'm just not.

THE ONE WHERE JOEY DOESN'T SHARE FOOD (which is not a title but we'll go with it): a book I won't share

For this one, I'm going to have to go with ALL OF THEM. I hate having to lend about books, and thankfully I very rarely am asked to do so, but when I am I know I can't just be like "No, go to the library or something." I have to give them the book. And the entire time the person is reading it, I have even higher anxiety than usual.

THE ONE WITH THE THUMB: a book I'd give two thumbs up to

[goodreads]

I feel like I don't talk about this book on my blog nearly as much as I should, as it's one of my favorite books that I've ever read. And one of the saddest. But yes. This book is absolutely wonderful, and I would give more than two thumbs up to it if I could.

THE ONE WITH THE ICK FACTOR: a bookish pet peeve

This doesn't actually have to do with the book itself, i.e. the plot, the characters etc, but the physical book. I. Hate. Cover. Changes. SO. MUCH. Like I can't even explain how much I despise them. I know I'm seeming pretty over-dramatic, because I kinda am. BUT I JUST DO NOT LIKE THEM AT ALL WHATSOEVER AND WHAT THE HELL GOT INTO THE PUBLISHER'S MINDS TO THINK IT WOULD BE A GOOD IDEA.

THE ONE WITH THE LESBIAN WEDDING: favorite book with a queer couple

[goodreads]

Now yes, I know the actual real-life couple doesn't come in until the very end, but I AM STILL DOWNRIGHT OBSESSED WITH THIS BOOK. I love it so much. It's pretty incomprehensible how much I adore it in fact. In the rare case that you haven't picked up Simon, you NEED to. Right now.

And that's all for now! If you're reading this and you want to do this tag, then I TAG YOU! I really hope that you enjoyed this post, and if so make sure to hit that follow button! Bye!!

Book Covers That I'd Live In | T5W

Hey guys! Today's post will be another Top Five Wednesday! This week's topic is book covers that I'd live in. This was a pretty hard decision to make as there are so many book covers that I love. Also, I usually don't do this, but I'll be doing almost all the topics for T5W this month, because they all seem so cool! But anyways, let's get into the list.

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5. HUNTED BY MEAGAN SPOONER

Now yes. I totally realize that it might not be the safest place ever to live in a huge snowy forest. BUT IT'S JUST SO DAMN PRETTYYYYYY. I don't know, I'll...live with the squirrels or something. They'll keep me warm. Lol.

4. THEY BOTH DIE AT THE END BY ADAM SILVERA

Well, the cover has New York City on it, and that's my favorite place that I've ever traveled to. Though it would be super expensive and I totally wouldn't be able to afford it, I'd love to live there.

3. OF FIRE AND STARS BY AUDREY COULTHURST

I mean, who doesn't want to live in a castle, tbh.

2. EVERY GIANT BECOMES A MONSTER BY COLLINS KELLY

Literally when I saw this cover while browsing through Netgalley, I thought, Wow, I want to be there. Because, like, LOOK AT IT. It just seems so amazing to be able to sit there and look at that stunning sunset. Plus, not to mention, there's cacti, which makes it all the more better.

1. PASSENGER BY ALEXANDRA BRACKEN

I don't know about you, but I think that the city in the bottle looks so beautiful and wonderful to live in. Though I would never go on that bridge in there, because that just seems terrifying. Anyway. Besides that. Great place.

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And that's all for now! Let me know a book cover or two that you want to live in the comments below. Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed this post, and if so make sure to hit that follow button! Bye guys!!